Thursday, June 07, 2007

Here's an Idea...

I'm going to get drunk. Very drunk. I'm going to hang around in the clubs of L.A., getting totally wasted whilst the paparazzi hang on my every move and slurred word.
Then, I'm going to go home, get into my disgustingly polluting 4x4, and drive around for a while.
It doesn't matter if I get caught.
It doesn't matter if I hit someone, and kill them.
It doesn't matter if I get sentenced to 40 days in jail, my lawyers will get that down to 20. Then when I complain about the conditions (not enough butlers) my lawyers will exchange it for a ludicrous 40-day home electronic tagging, so I can be amongst my friends, family, antique furniture and miniature dogs as I comes to terms with what a terrible thing I've done.
Hey, if that's a problem, my Daddy can probably reduce it to some cushy community service order for which I'll have to work for about 20 minutes.
It's fine, because money can buy anything.
It's fine, because I'm arrogant, stupid and absolutely unaware of how much people hate me.
It's fine, because I'm Paris Hilton.