"Retard Probable"

Sorry for my recent absence, I've been in France checking up on my multilingual globetrotting girlfriend.
Anyway, as I waited for my return train, I noticed that the train operator saw fit to include the comment "retard probable" next to the details of several trains on the departures board.
A number of thoughts entered my head-

1. It's quite un-PC to actually advertise the fact that there may be people with learning disabilities on board the train.
2. It's also fairly un-PC to call them retards.
3. Will the retards be driving the train? Positive discrimination gone mad.
4. Isn't "retard probable" French for "probable delays"?
5. The French are morons in a general sense.

Yes, my train did end up being late. And my connecting train was also late. And my third and final train, a poor replacement due to me missing my original choice by 5 minutes, was also late. This leads me to the conclusion that the French are responsible in some way for the vast majority of human suffering. Consider these points-

• Thievery. French cricket. French toast. French fries. Stop stealing our perfectly valid inventions, attaching your prefix, modifying them in some tiny detail to make them easier to understand/more pungent and pretending that you thought of them yourself. Especially stop claiming to have invented the theory of the republic, Plato did it 2000 years ago, you morons. Also, invent a proper sport. We came up with football, rugby and cricket, not to mention snooker, darts and many athletic events. You have tennis, which frankly is about as enticing as your body odour.
• Body odour. It is not acceptable to smell overly of urine or cheap aftershave, which on my limited experience applies to around 90% of French people. Foodstuffs are also not fragrances.
• Introductory cheek kissing. He is a man. I am a man. No. What the hell is wrong with a masculine handshake involving a non-spoken competition for superior firmness between the two participants? Too manly for you? Thought so.
• Mint sauce, baked beans and marmite are not "specialist" foods. They should be stocked in all your shops regardless of whether that means you have to move the horse or the dog to a different shelf.
• Stop surrendering. You've used up all you credits for us coming to your rescue, so the next time you get invaded by Albania or Zambia, we're going to get out our telescopes and watch. We might even have a celebratory baked beans party as the smoke of your burnt-out onion fields drifts across the Channel.