I Hate Paris Hilton

It's my least imaginative title ever. I tried to think of a more interesting one for ages, but nothing else could quite cut it for accuracy.
You see, every time that stupid cow does anything it pisses me off. Her head is so far up her own arse she should actually be choking. Here's hoping.
I like to give people a chance, but honestly, she's the most repulsive person I've ever heard of. First, she polluted my television with that genocide, "The Simple Life". I assume the title referred to her mental capacity, because it took her approximately two seconds to come across as an arrogant dim-witted bitch who treats honest hard working people like shit.
But hey, I'm a forgiving guy, I hoped it might just be her way of coping with growing up under the media spotlight. Then straight after her second series of genre-massacring crap (none of which I watched, I enjoy my sanity) she got caught drink driving. Whoops, well that's a bit silly. I know there must be something in the Constitution that protects your right to bear arms, fight for your homes, drink as much as you physically can and pilot a tonne-heavy piece of metal around the streets of L.A., but to me it just sounded a bit foolish.
Oh well, we all make mistakes. But most of us don't do it again. And again. And most of us don't try to defend ourselves in court by telling the judge that the only reason we get caught over and over again is because the police continually pull us over to try to chat us up. I'm not kidding, she actually said that. Apparently, the officers all admire her nauseatingly anorexic, plain, featureless figure and they can't resist her dry, glazed, acne ridden face, so they pull her over on the weakest of pretexts.
Yeah, I can understand that, maybe they heard her cool slogan, "That's Hot", and were hypnotically entranced by her mystery. Wake up you stupid cow, you can't own a two word phrase that's already used virtually every day by 90% of people. Obviously she disagrees, because she tried to get it copyrighted.
Add that to the music "career" she assumed she could have just because daddy owns a few hotels, and you're beginning to get a more rounded picture of the limits of human stupidity. Sure, you can buy music, but not a voice that doesn't sound like a dog being raped by a power drill. Even Britney knows that.
But there's more. One of her other defensive arguments was that she thought her driving license probation had already finished. Why did she think that? Because she openly admitted that she never reads anything that she signs, and never opens her post. Hmmm. Not so much a defensive argument as admitting to being a total cretin, is it? If I never open my gas bills, it doesn't mean I get free gas. Stupid bint.
One last thing, before I explode with frustrated anger at the levels of arrogant sanctimony that people can reach. Her friends have started a petition to save her from jail. I know it sounds a bit lame, but it must be official, because it's on MySpace. Apparently her air headed bimbo friends have seen Clueless and Sweet Valley High too many times and think that you can avoid punishment for a serious crime if you ask nicely, flutter your eyelashes and point out how sorry you are.
Well, you can't. I hope they lock her up until she realises that she's a dumb irritating slag with no discernible skills, attractive features or redeeming traits. Hopefully, that will be never.