Being the Patient for a Change

Sorry about the lack of frequent posts, I've had things to deal with! Right then, today I missed the morning lectures (thank God, apparently they were shockingly boring, all about pain management), to go to the GP surgery and discuss my recent lack of energy. Not a big concern, but worth checking out seeing as it's been going on for a few weeks and it came on quite suddenly. He did the usual, listening to my lungs and heart (slightly clueless as to why, but hey, he's the doctor), and then a blood pressure(110/76, lower margins of normal), and my pulse (72, normal). Finally he ordered some blood tests........

1. FBCs (full blood count, checking the amount of my red and white blood cells)
2. ESR (erythrocyte sedimentation rate, how quickly the red blood cells fall to the bottom of the tube)
3. LFTs (liver function tests,to check that my liver isn't falling apart. It isn't, trust me.)
4. U+Es (urea and creatinine levels, to check that my kidneys are filtering properly. Tell your mates what it stands for during Holby City)
5. TFTs (Ahah! Thyroid function tests, actually something that might be useful!)

.............and told me to bugger off to the nurse and get stuck (a term used by doctors, meaning to have blood taken, and yes, sometimes meaning to well, you get the picture). She reminded me of how utterly shite I am at taking blood by glancing at my vein-deserted arm for approximately half a second before conjouring blood up from the middle of nowhere, and filling two sodding tubes. I'd be lucky if I could extract that much blood from a patient using a chainsaw and a bucket.

The GP said he was highly suspicious that the TFTs might come back with some diagnostic results but I'm not holding my breath, it's just an off-chance that I want to remove from the back of my mind, so I can get off my clinically healthy arse and get some work done.

In the afternoon I had my weekly Global Health session, HIV and TB this week, lots of statistics. Why is the morbidity rate for HIV falling in some sub-Saharan countries? Yes, well done, it's because everyone that had it before is now dead. And we still do bugger all about it apart from send Bob Geldof to sing a supposedly curative rendition of "I don't like Mondays". The 21st century, ladies and gents.

By the way, which one of these 3 is least likely to happen-

1. I co-pilot my spaceship with Elvis, and we hit the Loch Ness Monster
2. I win the lottery on two consecutive weeks with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6
3. I actually get allocated one of the two places on next term's A+E optional unit

No clues, answers on a postcard (and it's not 1 or 2)...